Monday, January 14, 2008

chuckles again....

ya know something's wrong when one child cries and the other one runs in his room and locks the door...................

LOL...........

apparently hudson (3) did something to griffin's (2) eye...but griff was all better in no time at all

I didn't even say anything to hudson because he knew he was wrong... he cried for a little bit in his room and then came out within 10 minutes....then they watched Curious George together like usual

well... a big red and purple bruise appeared a little while later on griff's eyelid.....at least it's not a full black eye............it's only really noticeable when he closes his eyes

******************

I received this e-mail from my SIL tonight....it's rather funny so I just had to share...


Questions I asked my new doctor. I love this guy!!!!




Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.



Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.




Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!


Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If yo u have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.




Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!



Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! .... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more ve getables be bad for you?



Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.



Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!



Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.


Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!


Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had aboutfood and diets.

And remember:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and we ll preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride"



AND......

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final w ord on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat

and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat

and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine

and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine

and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like.

Speaking English is apparently what kills you.


*****************

my first newsletter went out today... it looked pretty cute, if I might say so myself.............a few minor tweaks have been done to it for Wednesday's issue...............and hopefully by the end of the week it will have the huge new product announement for my newest super big cool collab..................

scroll down to yesterday's blogging to find the sign-up info for my newsletter... you know you should :)

4 comments:

Chantal said...

what a great blog entrie about food :o)

Maggie said...

this is such a hoot:)
Maggie

BHo said...

Those are funny! If only they were true :-)

Kutnkudlys' Kreations said...

Those are too good! Gave me a well needed chuckle this morning! :)


Have a great day!

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails